Truly Dauntless

Braveheart. Courageous. Gallant. Lionheart.

As I write these words, there is an image of brave people with muscular arms and scowling faces that may come to your mind. Or at least my mind, that is. Perhaps we’re driven to consider them brave because they’ve single-handedly ripped a crocodile’s jaws apart. Or perhaps you consider someone like Alexander III of Macedon, brave. Collecting states like one collects stamps.

But I don’t agree with any of you. All these acts of bravery involve something; safety, pride, honor, ego. As if they stand guard over these acts of valor and monitor them. So what exactly is dauntlessness according to my labyrinthine ideas?

True valor is the act of signing your own fate in black. Someone like Macbeth, who created his own torturous reality, even when he knew all the consequences. What greater dauntlessness than the act of writing your own fate on the oracle of doom?

When you are brave enough to skydive without a parachute, just to see how you fare. Those who are rational, would probably scrunch their faces in disgust at this thought. They’ll consider this utter foolishness.

But then again, I’m not rational, hence the immense capacity to self-destruct.

What has rationality given us anyway? That moment of pure thrill and apprehension is better than all the years spent in fear. You can either hide in a damp basement or you can come out to play. You’ll die either way, so why shouldn’t you make it worthwhile?

Perhaps being smart is the way to go. Speaking only when you’re spoken to. Navigating carefully through life. But for those who plan ahead, aren’t they robbed of the joy of the moment?

Carpe diem, a cliche aphorism, is not that easy to embody. The struggle behind it makes it all the more intriguing, if not practical, for some.

True bravery is the act of putting yourself in danger, for yourself and by yourself. Paradoxical? Maybe. Completely against man’s nature to survive? Maybe. But doesn’t nature evolve and change ever so slyly? Handpicking only those who have adapted to the maximum capacity. Perhaps we’ve created such an environment for ourselves that self-destruction is the only way to survive?

Isn’t that quite addicting in itself? Thrilling, even? You do the opposite of what is expected from you. You wholeheartedly embrace everything that was designed to hurt you, until it can’t hurt you anymore. Isn’t that the crux of bravery? Knowing the consequences but still going in for the jump? Perhaps we still haven’t ventured in the true concept of bravery because we lack the proper apparatus.

We are too busy trying to destroy our demons instead of learning how to tame them.

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Dirty Socks and Confrontations

We like to run away from things that threaten us. Our first animal instinct. These threatening things can either be tangible, like someone coming towards you with a saw or intangible, like when someone’s words tend to break your heart, for those of you mere mortals who still have one, that is.

Just like dirty socks, you prefer to throw away these situations in a dark corner of your room and not face them till the mound grows to such an extent that it topples over. But that’s the thing with confrontations, they never really go away unless you do something about them. Unless you physically pick up that sock and place it in the laundry bag. Or you could rely on some other  “pretty” analogy to help to understand, because I won’t sugar coat it for you.

Confrontations are best served raw.

The more you try to embellish or avoid them, you’re just complicating things for yourself. Bad news is easy to avoid but hard to face, because even though we all pretend to be realistic in life, deep down we’re all idealists (one or another), who occasionally compromise on their values because we’re too afraid. Bravery is one of those things that can be idealized endlessly but is difficult to implement in the real world.

But then again, the real world isn’t meant to be a suitable place for idealists.

Like the cracks in glass that eventually cause it to shatter, lack of confrontations shatters many things, such as trust, relationships, practical life matters, you name it. It’s always hard coming to terms with confrontational situations, but you have to if you don’t want a life of regrets and constant self torture. Just get it over with and deal with the consequences. Human beings are surprisingly resilient creatures.

It’s basically like when you jump off a diving board  and there’s this moment of pure apprehension when you don’t know what will happen next. So do it, confront matters and sweep them out from under the carpet. Wash your dirty socks, work things out in your laundry and life in general because you’ve had enough of this stabbing guilt, and you deserve clean socks too (let’s be real for once). Oh, and the feeling of exhilaration and relief after confrontations isn’t so bad either.

The Fate of Oppressors

It’s funny how dictators and other oppressors think they can simply kill or hurt all those who differ from them. Come to think of it, killing people is all they all do. Makes you feel sorry for them, to be honest. That’s because it is literally all they can do. Nothing more.

So powerless.

These oppressors can’t defeat the purpose or the impact of those they thought to be so revolutionary that they must be wiped off from the face of the earth. They’re just like a child eating bon bons. He can continuously  unwrap the them and eat them in the process but he can’t do anything if the chocolate stains his shirt and is absolutely helpless in determining the composition of the bon bons. The chocolate may be gone but the wrapper will still remain and there’s nothing he can do about it, except throw it away. But just because you throw something away, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist anymore. This is the same with dictators who don’t like to reveal their true disruptive nature because they are afraid of pointing fingers.

Too bold to commit murder but too cowardly to accept it.

How consistent.

In the end, this is what they must resort to. Torture and murder. Perhaps they think that they are setting a precedent for all those who dare to oppose them but look at all the cruel precedents set by the dictators in history. Even if they were effective, it was only for a brief period of time. Because how many people can you kill and torture? The entire human race, maybe? But then again, you oppressors would be left alone and will probably end up getting the homo sapiens specie extinct. But you don’t really care about the future generation do you? If you did, you wouldn’t demean yourself like this and wouldn’t set such a pitiful and cruel example for them. Perhaps you want them to be as ruthless as you are. Fine then. They’ll end up becoming so ruthless that they won’t even come to your grave or pray for you or even mention you with pride. They’ll  end up spitting out your name and ridiculing you if they don’t curse you first.

Perhaps this is the legacy you want to leave behind, and rightly so. You deserve it.

You see, all those activities you so carefully designed to empower yourself and to wipe out revolutionary ideas, it is you will end up getting hurt and wiped out at the end. Think of it as the domino effect, you disturbed them and now you’ll have to face the consequences. And you will, inevitably.

Karma is not as mythical as it seems.

No matter how much you try to deny it or run away from it. Because even though revolutionaries can be oppressed, you can’t suppress revolution. The world is not formed by mere human bodies but by ideals, beliefs, values, and morals of different people from different regions. And if you’re practical about it, you can’t “kill” ideas. So if you think you can do “anything” and kill whomever, then think again, because that’s just an illusion.

It’s interesting how the intangible things make the world go round. The invisible attraction between the Sun and Earth, the invisible supremacist ideals and values you hold so close to your heart yet you claim that you don’t believe in things you can’t see. The world is being inherited by those who are intolerant and intolerance is the impostor that seems to befriend you initially, but in the long run you’ll see how this intolerance will come back to haunt you. The reason I’m telling you that all your hatred towards others is hatred towards yourself is because I understand that human beings are acutely selfish creatures and the only way to make them consider something is to give them an incentive that will benefit them. Or in this case, harm them. In conclusion, you’re can’t stop those offending revolutionary ideas, you end up damaging so much more than your ego and you are the one who will fall on your sword. But your end won’t be come as some noble suicide, it’ll be torturous and painful. You can’t complain, really. You sealed your fate yourself.

Losing Lashes

Do you lose lashes often?

You find them on your hand as you rub your eyes after salty rivers run down your cheeks.Some lashes end up in your eye. Those keratin based bodies are designed to protect your eye but they end up causing discomfort to them. That is how it is with different aspects in life. Like friends and family. Yes, I consider different people around me as aspects. Bur that is nothing to be ashamed of. Some destined to vanish after a short time, some stay on for a longer period of time. Notice how I don’t mention forever.

I don’t believe in forever.

Forever is just an idea that we humans have come up with that is romanticized excessively, and we like to rely on it to comfort us during our best and worst times.

“These hard times won’t last forever.”

“I’ll stay with you forever .”

Little do we know, that this little comforting idea of “forever” basically goes on to hurt us in the future and we don’t even brace ourselves for its devastating impact. Instead we like to “hope for the best” and rely on our imagination and delusions. Pretty pathetic, I know.

We’re all fragments of DNA, energy, decisions and dreams in this temporary world that is designed to test our mettle. The people around you, like your friends are like lashes. You lose them quite frequently, there’s a sinking feeling in your stomach every time you do so but then you manage to get over it. You have to. Your body will make up for it even if your brain refuses to do so but then again, the brain’s healing machinery will take over too and it will have no choice but to heal itself. And you thought you had control over body.

People drift in and out of your life all the time. What makes them significant or insignificant is the way they exit from your life. Most of the time, it’s not always the big rows and quarrels that end your relationships with people. That is the easy way out, if you ask me. It’s harder to cope with your relationship which have frayed at the ends when you gradually fall apart. You don’t remember their birthdays. You talk less. Small talk substitutes your banter and intimate stories. You don’t confide in them anymore. It’s like the lash that doesn’t necessarily break off but it’s there. It pokes you in your eye but it never really goes away.That is how it is with some relationships that used to mean so much to you, initially.

You end up in this uncomfortable foggy realm with these people who seem like strangers but you don’t know what to do with them. Approach them and make it awkward? Ignore them and wait for the guilt to strike? Will you be too intrusive? Some relationships end with a proper climax scene. You fight, argue and finally decide that you can’t work out your differences and separate. That is actually quite convenient, but it hurts nonetheless, even if you don’t admit it.

Like some lashes that end up hurting your eye, there are also some relationships which end up hurting something much more significant, like your trust. This trust or lack thereof helps you see the best and worst in people. But at the end of the day, they’re all just lashes, supportive but eventually they’ll fall off. Some may grow back, some won’t and you’ll learn to get over it, eventually, but you’ll notice how much or little the shape of your eye is affected by their presence or absence. This is how we humans work. We are resilient enough to get over different relationships but not resilient enough. Because all those relationships will end up framing your lifestyle, thought process and personality. Quite similar to the way your lashes frame your eyes.

 

Standards of Ugly

“How much does this whitening cream cost?”

“Can I have this foundation lighter/darker than my actual skin color?”

“This foundation in the shade ivory seems about right for you, miss.” A saleswoman told me when I went shopping with my friend. We both gave each other funny looks because no way in hell I am “ivory” or even close. For those who don’t know, I am a brown Pakistani woman. Simply put. Desi as can be and I’m not ashamed of it. Being half-pathan (pashtuns from the northern areas of Pakistan with considerably pale skin tones) doesn’t necessarily “improve” my skin tone because the gene responsible for the milky pathani skin tone got lost among my mother’s brown Punjabi genes. As if genes have different colors. But don’t worry we’ll soon find a way to discriminate against them too, even if they do. This is 2017 and racism isn’t going anywhere ladies and gentlemen. Consistency at its best.

I see some painstakingly sunbathing and burning to a crisp in the process to get the coveted “tan” that most South Asian women try so hard to get rid of.

Fascinating.

The trouble is not with those tanning gels or whitening creams, the companies behind them are simply exploiting the ideals of beauty which people base their sole existence on. You see, the problem lies not in the availability of these items but the ideals that sustain them. Our so called “standards” of beauty. More suitably, the standards of ugly which we try to avoid. For example if we associate dark skin with ugliness, we’re setting that as a standard to avoid and hence we’ll end up using tubfuls of whatever cheap whitening cream we can get out hands on. It’s funny how something as versatile as beauty can be forcibly allowed to conform to a certain standard. It’s like wearing uniforms, but not that flattering.

For those of you wondering if I’ll quote something cute like “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” or something along those lines then don’t worry, I won’t. Because thin noses, plenty of lid space, almond shaped eyes are just some standards of beauty that we’ve conjured based on the “eye of the beholder” type sayings. There are about 7 billion people in the world, all with different likes, dislikes, ideals of beauty. So why do you want to seem beautiful to some beholder? Why can’t you perceive the beauty within you without needing admirers? I get it, it’s hard but not impossible. After all you’re doing this for yourself and these “standards” are just mere intangible ideals, nothing more.

Some people resort to cosmetic surgery to be perceived beautiful because even if we don’t admit it, we’re all superficial. Some like me, have accepted the fact that they don’t fit in the standards of beauty  and will remain ugly trolls forever. Just kidding. Truth is, you shouldn’t be able to fit in a standard to consider yourself to be “pretty”. What does that word even mean? I think lizards are pretty and you think there’s nothing uglier than them. What you or I think of them won’t necessarily contribute to their existence in any way.

Get up and look at yourself in the mirror. You can hate yourself for what you have or you can learn to love yourself. Notice how I used the word “learn” when I mentioned the part about loving yourself, because I know it’s hard after all the self-critique we put ourselves through. But that’s okay, the best things in life don’t come easy. There is a reason you have what you have, it’s not just coincidence. Come to think, all those complex genes aligned themselves precisely, the sperm meeting the egg in the exact fraction of a second which ultimately resulted in your existence. As Gary Vee said, “You won the lottery.” But here you are wondering why you don’t look like Bella Hadid. Truth is, you won’t look like her and you don’t need to. The presence of her beauty does not signify the absence of your own, and whoever said that was absolutely right. You are beautiful, birthmark, crooked nose and all. Why do you think a wonderful, complex creature like you should belittle herself/himself for the sake of mere “standards”?

Another amusing thing about these standards is that they’re not constant. They vary from time to time with every region. The things viewed as attractive in Pakistan won’t be be viewed the same way in Korea or Japan or the United States. Because at the end of the day they are just standards and they won’t mean anything if you don’t allow them to. It’s all based on perception.

Here’s what you can do, you can either wish that you were a chameleon so you can fit in the beauty standards of the world and be considered “beautiful” or you can alter your perception and appreciate what you have because your unique self is beautiful whether you choose to believe it or not. Just because you like chocolate cake, that doesn’t mean that vanilla isn’t delicious. At the end of the day, all you have is yourself. You are your own rescuer. If you can’t learn to love yourself then how can you expect the world to do the same?

5 Reasons Why You Should Fail in Life

This is not a drill. Nor is this a satirical article. There is a reason why people fail in life and there are different ways to perceive failure and learn from it.

*Sputters, gasps*

Some of you cringe visibly when you hear the word “failure”. Others like me who are desensitized to all aspects of failure in life will probably shrug and keep reading on. Smart move. In the real world, people fail at different things all the time. Some fail in academics, others fail in greater things like relationships and others generally fail at everything because we don’t believe in settling for one thing and life is a competition right so why fail at one specific thing? Why not everything? The world is your oyster and you must devour it. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

If that makes any sense so let’s pretend it does. We already like to pretend so many other things like how our life isn’t going downhill, how women aren’t marginalized, how racism does not exist and how everyone is a giant teddy bear. So anyway, moving on to the crux of this article where I’ll try to convince you that the worse thing you ever thought to happen to you was actually not that bad after all, without those fuzzy Tumblr-esque quotes. You’ll thank me later.

1.PERSPECTIVE

Failure gives you perspective. It’s like an alarm clock that wakes you up from a dream. Or a nightmare. Or anything in between. Sometimes we get so caught up in what people tell us, our responsibilities, our delusions and paranoia that we get out of touch with how things really are. Failure snaps you back to reality so you still have a little time to rectify all those problems that were plaguing your way.

2.DECIDING FACTOR

Sometimes in life, we come face to face with failure at a very crucial time of our lives. That is actually the universe helping us prioritize something. This failure inspires you to push harder and get what you want or it may disappoint you so much so that you don’t go to that dark place ever again and move on to something more fruitful. It’s basically tough love brought to you by the universe. Or your actions, whatever you choose to believe.

3.MATTER?

When you fail at multiple things, at multiple times you start to realize that things you pulled your hair out for, don’t really matter. What you lost your sleep over, wasn’t that significant. It makes you question who you are as a person . It tell you that there are so many other things in the universe and that it’s okay and not the end of the world. As Stephen Hawking said, “While there is life, there is hope.”

4.SELF DISCOVERY

Believe it or not, failure causes you to discover yourself. You may kick yourself at that time, but in the long run you learn to evaluate yourself, figure out your problems, and move on to solve them yourself. You basically learn to love yourself without Justin Bieber telling you to and that makes you value yourself more.

5.CONFIDENCE

Failure makes you confident. You realize that you’ve seen all that you have to lose and it can’t be any worse than it already is because at the end of the day even rock bottom has its limits and eventually you’ll have no choice but to progress towards the positive aspect of life. You’ll learn to appreciate yourself because you went through all those moments that threatened to tear you apart but you still emerged (not completely unscathed but that’s not problematic because scars are beautiful and I’ll tell you how in my upcoming posts.)

 

 

 

The Sacrificial Lamb

Society has us all messed up. Something based solely on the vague ideas of propriety and “morals” of a few people has ended up dictating our way of life. It has turned into a monster and is in turn poisoning us. Serves us right for creating the monster in the first place. Karma at its finest. When you add patriarchy in the mix it all just becomes a wonderful mix of suffering, oppression, alter egos and forced smiles. Exquisite.

What really bothers me is that the with all the twists, turns and changes in society the position of women is the only thing that has remained constant. Women have bled out painfully every month for the sake of their reproductive system yet they’re still considered “cowards”. They’ve bravely bore the intense pain that follows during the birth of a child but still considered “weak”. They’ve allowed their body and existence to be enslaved by their child and husband but they’re still considered “selfish” if they do manage to take out some time for themselves. Yet no one cares. Yet there is no end to this oppression that women face even today. Oh no, because apparently society has its “norms” and “values” and abiding by them is a duty imposed on women alone because only men can make and break these rules without questioning.

For years women have been told to cover up so the opposite gender doesn’t look at them with their perverted beady eyes and take advantage of them. They’ve been told to cover up for their own “safety”. Interesting. Those who pledge and guarantee this “safety” to them are the ones who are endangering it in the first place. Ironic, no? They’ve been marginalized, have been locked in their homes, have been accused of “bad character”and crimes they didn’t even commit just because they had brought “shame” to the family because some random pervert was caught smiling at her or ended up pursuing her. Fantastic.

If questioned why can’t you tell men to lower their gaze first? The illogical answer follows, “You can’t force everyone to lower their gaze. Kis kis ki nazrein neechey karwayein ge?” The funny thing is, that’s exactly what’s been happening with women since day one. Kis kis ko chadaar pehnawayein gey? How can you force every woman to cover up? Why do you find it easy to limit the path of every woman and tell her to cover up? Well someone has to. Why not the sacrificial lamb who’s been doing it since the day she was born because she was taught to be obedient. Even if she isn’t, society finds it very convenient to use religion to her to conform to their pathetic standards of propriety. They just don’t know how to use religion to teach their son to become a decent human being because they find it hard to believe that God is not a misogynist.

If you can enforce “pardah”(the ideal of covering up) on your daughters then surely you can also enforce good moral values on your son? But no, the mere mention of his gender is like an excuse for people. “Oh so cheated on her? That’s okay he is a boy after all.” “So he got her pregnant out of wedlock? Oh well, we can’t really do anything because he’s a man.” As if having testosterone is the ultimate get out of jail free card. How convenient.

We won’t solve the root of the problem and and get our sons to behave, we’ll just pretend they are holy deities. Instead we’ll force our daughters into compliance in order to balance out the chaos our sons cause in society because she’s only a woman right? Born to be trodden on. Only a woman. If women couldn’t bear children to ensure the continuity of mankind, they would’ve been long eaten by men. But God was smart and He didn’t want women to become extinct like the Dodo bird so He blessed her with this unmatched ability. He also reiterated her importance through Islam (more on that later) but typical desi society doesn’t care about Islam. To them their cultural values are sacred enough.

So in conclusion, this is why women, even after sacrificing their heart, soul and body are looked upon with contempt and marginalized because men have proved themselves to be the animals they claim they are not. What a momentous moment in the evolutionary history of mankind.

Lowering Expectations

Warning: What you are about to read is some completely boring text. Now some of you would simply put it down and go in search of better stories. But some of you, who are daring (kudos to you) will continue reading. See what I did there? I lowered your expectations, so now even if you find something worthwhile to read, you’ll be pleasantly surprised because I’ve told you that this article will put you to sleep in the first place. Now you may think I’m some sort of a mind boggler or a psychologist who’s trying to play mind games with you. But in reality, I’m just an average person who learns a lot. Every day. Bit by bit, life teaches us little things which may seem insignificant initially, but later, over the course of a year, we realize that we’re a completely different person because of the lessons we learned.

Now the title of this article should’ve been Great Expectations or something optimistic or something but I’m no Dickens and this isn’t some cliched article. Not that Dickens was anything less than a phenomenal writer. But expectations though, they really play a huge part in our lives, no? Expecting to wake up, expecting your salary, expecting food at the dinner table, expecting your wife to be the gourmet chef you know she’s not, expecting your son to be the epitome of support towards you, expecting your daughter to be the next Martha Stewart. And it’s not only you with expectations, it’s people around you with expectations too and you try your best to conform to these expectations but in the end you just end up going out of your way for nothing. You realize it’s all just a fallacy. To some, it may be too late, but for others, it’s just a realization for the beginning.

Now in a circle of social conformity and illusions, what we like to call society in other words, there is an imbalance of expectations. You’re intrigued because you don’t know where I’m going with this. Superficially, it may seem like the greatest expectations are from men who are supposed to cater to the never ending financial needs and have to be those mighty breadwinners. Life must be hard toiling away in some cubicle. My sympathies with you, really. But come to think of it, that glorious weekend is like the chocolate cake after the Brussels sprouts or the intermission during a boring movie. But for some of your species, also known as the women, life is not that rewarding. Tragic, really. That’s because you have your dinner parties, brunches and different social events that you want your female partner to endure with you even when they’re dead tired because torturing people is obviously fun even if you’re not a sadist. Or so you think so.

Now you’re probably thinking this is some sort of a feminist article that is designed to deliver hate against those of you with excessive amounts of testosterone. Well, to your relief, that is not the case with this article. I am simply pointing out the truth. Facing the truth is one of the most commendable qualities so you can clap for yourself. Ir’s like a bitter pill you need to swallow in order to get better, assuming that the pill is medicinal. But then again, I’m just the messenger so bear with me. Women don’t get holidays, vacations or breaks in general. Especially in the societies of various third world countries. They toil away in the kitchen, with their children (who society would like to address as “yours” hence discrediting women of all the hard work that do in giving birth to them, bringing them up etc etc but apparently that’s not “significant” enough) and are in this constant state of frenzy to keep every inch of the house clean. Not a speck of dust. And we just look at our spick and span house and shrug when we look at women like what did you do all day?

A businessman can’t understand a model’s confession, you can’t expect a scientist to come up with cordon bleu cuisine with the finesse of a professional chef. A doctor will simply pull his hair out if he is confronted with the problems faced by an air traffic controller. My point is, every person’s profession is different from the other person’s and you can’t necessarily understand or undertake it but that doesn’t mean you should not respect it. Now you’re probably nodding your head because I’ve made a valid point here. Then why do we fail to appreciate women for all the work they do? We shrug it off with the thought that it’s her “duty”. As if you’ve married a personal maid because your mother wanted you to marry a woman of substance and killer housekeeping skills. As if she’s been to some build-a-barbie market. In reality, you can’t really build your own barbie, you can’t really force your barbie to conform to your standards or bow down to your needs because at the end of the day she is a person, just like you (shocking, isn’t it?) and she deserves equal opportunities and appreciation just like you do. I’m sure if you put yourself in her shoes, you’d end up taking a permanent vacation to Mars because it’s all too much to handle. Yet you ridicule her in front of others, demean her existence, don’t appreciate her and you get away with it. Miraculous.

If you didn’t get a promotion or a raise or a nod of appreciation from someone at work you’d probably end up tearing up your contract with that company. But your wife doesn’t tear her marriage contract, she still loves you and doesn’t ask for a raise. Those women who do tear up their marriage contracts are successfully stigmatized and marginalized so society has got men covered either way. Congratulations. What about promotion? You’re probably thinking what does she need to get promoted from, she does have the highest status of being your wife and you’re doing “everything” you can for her. Well, newsflash, you’re not. Most men fail to do more for their wives because they think that they’ve done enough. Do you think you’ve done enough at your job so why not just stay at home and party your life away? No. That is not how it works with your profession and that is not how it works with women. You need to do more, care more, love more because she’ll nurture your love and give you more than your expectations. At times when you’re least expecting it. And that’s the thing about low expectations, surprises feel thrilling, everything seems good because you’re not expecting much.

The reason most relationships fail is because the expectations are too high. You have expectations from women but ever wonder what they expect from you? Ever wonder how you’re continuously disappointing her in the course of your relationship with her? If the presence of these expectations alarm you then you need to evaluate yourself. If they don’t, the relish your rice and curry instead of expecting some seven course meal. You see, lowering expectations is a favor you do for yourself and if you’re expect that I’ll say that loving and respecting the women in your life is a favor to them that you’re mistaken. Because it’s not your favor, it’s your duty. And if you fail at this, you’ll get fired, eventually. Now I’ve figure out all your emotions and written them down for you like how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking, in this article. Feel free to to interpret “getting fired” as you wish. You’re welcome.

 

 

 

Wanderlust

We all need escapism. Escape from our depressing monotonous lives to something more exciting. Escape from our ecstatic moments to reality before we get too carried away. We all need this escapism because it helps us cope with things. Makes life a little easier. It’s almost like a defense mechanism that your mind designs to help you survive. Escapism helps us realize that there is more to life than our petty issues that make us panic and want to desperately leave and go somewhere else. Anywhere. Truth be told, I do it quite often. It’s basically wanderlust but I’m not going anywhere. Paradox, you say? But surely wandering through one’s aspirations, hopes and daydreams counts too? It’s like walking through a library and flicking pages of some worn out, dog eared books. The same pages over and over again. Different pages with ink blotches. Some worn out and some torn into a million scraps. This is my version of wanderlust and yes, I quite like it. Wandering through all the places which exist and which don’t. It doesn’t really matter because I can visit them anywhere, anytime. It’s actually quite comforting to know that I can escape to somewhere when  life gets harsh. It’s like Neverland, except I do grow old there. My thoughts evolve, I grow out of people, gravitate towards certain places, change my preferences. Some of you may have a different idea about wanderlust. The blinding lust that makes you want to venture out towards the unknown, in a world of your own design or quite the opposite. The bottom line is, you’re wandering, seeing new places, attaining new experiences, and letting your mind run free. Even when you’re globetrotting (according to the real world standards, at least), you see a world so different to what you’re accustomed to. Suddenly the things you worried about seem so small and insignificant. The tests you worried about in college, the struggles of practical life, they won’t matter once you see Aurora Borealis. It’s quite interesting once you realize that even though we all have the same habitat, the same two eyes, hands, feet, brain and heart, we’re all so different in so many ways and that’s not problematic at all. This is what your wanderlust makes you realize. However, like typical lust, your wanderlust will leave you with regret too. Regret of leaving the exotic place where you made so many wonderful memories, regret of leaving the safety of your mind palace and back to reality where things don’t go your way. But you know what? That regret has a purpose. It gives you this sense of missing something that makes you treasure all the places you’ve been. It makes your wanderlust more meaningful so that it’s more than just lust.