Lowering Expectations

Warning: What you are about to read is some completely boring text. Now some of you would simply put it down and go in search of better stories. But some of you, who are daring (kudos to you) will continue reading. See what I did there? I lowered your expectations, so now even if you find something worthwhile to read, you’ll be pleasantly surprised because I’ve told you that this article will put you to sleep in the first place. Now you may think I’m some sort of a mind boggler or a psychologist who’s trying to play mind games with you. But in reality, I’m just an average person who learns a lot. Every day. Bit by bit, life teaches us little things which may seem insignificant initially, but later, over the course of a year, we realize that we’re a completely different person because of the lessons we learned.

Now the title of this article should’ve been Great Expectations or something optimistic or something but I’m no Dickens and this isn’t some cliched article. Not that Dickens was anything less than a phenomenal writer. But expectations though, they really play a huge part in our lives, no? Expecting to wake up, expecting your salary, expecting food at the dinner table, expecting your wife to be the gourmet chef you know she’s not, expecting your son to be the epitome of support towards you, expecting your daughter to be the next Martha Stewart. And it’s not only you with expectations, it’s people around you with expectations too and you try your best to conform to these expectations but in the end you just end up going out of your way for nothing. You realize it’s all just a fallacy. To some, it may be too late, but for others, it’s just a realization for the beginning.

Now in a circle of social conformity and illusions, what we like to call society in other words, there is an imbalance of expectations. You’re intrigued because you don’t know where I’m going with this. Superficially, it may seem like the greatest expectations are from men who are supposed to cater to the never ending financial needs and have to be those mighty breadwinners. Life must be hard toiling away in some cubicle. My sympathies with you, really. But come to think of it, that glorious weekend is like the chocolate cake after the Brussels sprouts or the intermission during a boring movie. But for some of your species, also known as the women, life is not that rewarding. Tragic, really. That’s because you have your dinner parties, brunches and different social events that you want your female partner to endure with you even when they’re dead tired because torturing people is obviously fun even if you’re not a sadist. Or so you think so.

Now you’re probably thinking this is some sort of a feminist article that is designed to deliver hate against those of you with excessive amounts of testosterone. Well, to your relief, that is not the case with this article. I am simply pointing out the truth. Facing the truth is one of the most commendable qualities so you can clap for yourself. Ir’s like a bitter pill you need to swallow in order to get better, assuming that the pill is medicinal. But then again, I’m just the messenger so bear with me. Women don’t get holidays, vacations or breaks in general. Especially in the societies of various third world countries. They toil away in the kitchen, with their children (who society would like to address as “yours” hence discrediting women of all the hard work that do in giving birth to them, bringing them up etc etc but apparently that’s not “significant” enough) and are in this constant state of frenzy to keep every inch of the house clean. Not a speck of dust. And we just look at our spick and span house and shrug when we look at women like what did you do all day?

A businessman can’t understand a model’s confession, you can’t expect a scientist to come up with cordon bleu cuisine with the finesse of a professional chef. A doctor will simply pull his hair out if he is confronted with the problems faced by an air traffic controller. My point is, every person’s profession is different from the other person’s and you can’t necessarily understand or undertake it but that doesn’t mean you should not respect it. Now you’re probably nodding your head because I’ve made a valid point here. Then why do we fail to appreciate women for all the work they do? We shrug it off with the thought that it’s her “duty”. As if you’ve married a personal maid because your mother wanted you to marry a woman of substance and killer housekeeping skills. As if she’s been to some build-a-barbie market. In reality, you can’t really build your own barbie, you can’t really force your barbie to conform to your standards or bow down to your needs because at the end of the day she is a person, just like you (shocking, isn’t it?) and she deserves equal opportunities and appreciation just like you do. I’m sure if you put yourself in her shoes, you’d end up taking a permanent vacation to Mars because it’s all too much to handle. Yet you ridicule her in front of others, demean her existence, don’t appreciate her and you get away with it. Miraculous.

If you didn’t get a promotion or a raise or a nod of appreciation from someone at work you’d probably end up tearing up your contract with that company. But your wife doesn’t tear her marriage contract, she still loves you and doesn’t ask for a raise. Those women who do tear up their marriage contracts are successfully stigmatized and marginalized so society has got men covered either way. Congratulations. What about promotion? You’re probably thinking what does she need to get promoted from, she does have the highest status of being your wife and you’re doing “everything” you can for her. Well, newsflash, you’re not. Most men fail to do more for their wives because they think that they’ve done enough. Do you think you’ve done enough at your job so why not just stay at home and party your life away? No. That is not how it works with your profession and that is not how it works with women. You need to do more, care more, love more because she’ll nurture your love and give you more than your expectations. At times when you’re least expecting it. And that’s the thing about low expectations, surprises feel thrilling, everything seems good because you’re not expecting much.

The reason most relationships fail is because the expectations are too high. You have expectations from women but ever wonder what they expect from you? Ever wonder how you’re continuously disappointing her in the course of your relationship with her? If the presence of these expectations alarm you then you need to evaluate yourself. If they don’t, the relish your rice and curry instead of expecting some seven course meal. You see, lowering expectations is a favor you do for yourself and if you’re expect that I’ll say that loving and respecting the women in your life is a favor to them that you’re mistaken. Because it’s not your favor, it’s your duty. And if you fail at this, you’ll get fired, eventually. Now I’ve figure out all your emotions and written them down for you like how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking, in this article. Feel free to to interpret “getting fired” as you wish. You’re welcome.